Monday, May 11, 2009

Top Ten Things That Should Be Added to the Next Elder Scrolls

10. Lycanthropy

Vampirism was one of the most polarizing elements added to the Elder Scrolls IV. Some have called it the biggest mistake in the game, while others have gotten bit as quickly as possible and completed the entire game as a vampire. Werewolves would be a good way to keep everybody happy. You could have a strength bonus, but only suffer the negative effects of being a werewolf once a month, rather than everyday.

9. Pets

There were a few dogs scattered around the world of Oblivion, but you couldnʼt own a dog or cat of your own. It would have been so much better if, after you bought a home, you could buy a cat or dog to come home too. The more breeds of dog the game could add, the better. Fuck cats.

8. Vampire Mastery

Vampirism was one of the classic aspects of Oblivion, but you could only choose to stay as a vampire, or to complete the vampire cure quest. The next older scrolls should add the ability to become the leader of all the vampires in the world, as well as add the ability to convert NPCs to vampirism, adding a new element to the vampirism in the game.

7. Online Arena Play

Online play across the world in the Elder Scrolls would be extremely difficult, but risking your possessions, and your pride, against other players across the world in arena challenges would be a really easy and satisfying addition to the next Elder Scrolls.

6. Slaves

Liberal political correctness be damned! In this type of medieval world, there would be slaves, and collecting slaves could be a lot of fun. If defeated bandits or arena warriors could become slaves that you could use in a variety of interesting, useful, or humorous ways it would add an extra level of depth to an already very deep game.

5. Hunting

In Oblivion, you could, if you had such a mind, hunt deer. But that was pretty much it. Hunting wolves and bears didnʼt make any sense, because as soon as they saw you, they would turn and attack. Making these kinds of animals a little more shy, as well as adding a little more reward for killing them, could add another fun pastime in the world of the next Elder Scrolls.

4. Complete NPC Annihilation

Of this weekʼs top ten, this is the suggestion that you can find talked about most often on the internet. A lot of Oblivion fans wish that they could kill all the people in the world (those evil bastards), but find that certain persons, like Bandits and guards, respawn after a time. In this instance, I couldnʼt agree more. Nothing would be more satisfying than being able to take out ever single NPC in the next Elder Scrolls installment.

3. Marriages/Dating

In Oblivion, you can buy a ton of houses, and become the richest man in the world. And yet, there isnʼt a single bitch all over your grill. No one tries to get you to marry them; and you canʼt try to convince them to be taken as your wife/husband either. Finding a good marriage (or many good marriages) should be another layer of success that can be achieved in the next Elder Scrolls.

2. Toilets

This oneʼs nasty. Iʼve played through Oblivion, and been to every city. I canʼt promise Iʼve seen everything, but Iʼve yet to see a single toilet. I donʼt know if everyone is in diapers, but if not then everyoneʼs walking around with a growing load of crap in their pants. Iʼm not saying that we should see our main character take a shit, but just seeing a toilet or two would make me feel a little better about the hygiene of all the NPCs around me.

1. Sex

You know you thought about it. Some of those peasants girls were asking for it. And if itʼs your thing, an Argonian or two might be just your style. You could gauge just how well you were doing in the game, by who you could get to have sex with you, and how long they were willing to do it. Admit it, if this were suddenly added to Oblivion, youʼd get the game out right now, and never put it down.

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