Monday, May 25, 2009

Top Ten Monday: Most Overrated Video Game Characters

10. Master Chief

Let’s be honest, you don’t really think about the character you’re controlling in the Halo series. You’re too worried about finding the right kind of gun so that you can take out your opponent, and then tea bag his poor, innocent corpse. Halo is an awesome game, but Master Chief doesn’t do the franchise any favors. This is an incredible shooting, action game that didn’t need a mascot, and Master Chief is easily the single most forgettable part of an unforgettable series.

9. Pacman/ Ms. Pacman

The Pacmans' major talent is swallowing. Good quality in a girlfriend; not so much in a video game character. Beyond that, they have little personality, and really haven’t accomplished anything better than there first outings in the arcades.


8. Pikachu



This little guy might be cute and deadly, but recently he made his way to number seven on one up’s list of the top ten video game characters of all time! Seven! You can play through an entire Pokemon game without ever using Pikachu as a character! Plus, he isn’t really all that great as a selectable Pokemon. He’s not a bad choice, but there are a lot of equally powerful Pokemon to take his spot. Pikachu is the most recognizable face of the Pokemon phenomenon, but removing him from the game wouldn’t change the gameplay very much for many, and wouldn’t affect it at all for others.


7. Donkey Kong

Clearly, this big ape doesn’t have a very good agent. First, he was left out of both of the the Snes sequels that used his name. Then, things got a little better for him with Donkey Kong 64, which by all accounts was an adequate game, but no one seems to be begging to see it released on the virtual console. After that, Donkey Kong fell to bit roll parts in the Mario Party and Mario Brawl games, as well as the headliner for the gimmicky Donkey Konga Games. His agent better get him a show that’s all his own from Nintendo soon, or DK just isn’t going to be a recognizable hero in his own right anymore.


6. Chun Li

Chun Li was often the character I used in Street Fighter II. All the same, she makes the list for one simple reason. She was the only Street Fighter character who would cry after she was defeated in a match. I don’t care if you’re a woman or a man, if you’re going to try to be considered one of the toughest fighters in the world, you don’t cry after you have lost a match. Period. Just can’t happen. Add onto that, the damage that the Street Fighter movie that focused on Chun Li caused and you have one seriously overrated character on your hands.

5. Sonic the Hedgehog



I doubt anyone’s surprised to see Sonic being placed in my list of the most overrated video game characters of all time. Sonic hasn’t performed well in a video game in over ten years. Even before then, Sonic, as one of my friends described his games, was “a lot of running around on auto-pilot”. Speed was a poor choice to make Sonic’s “thing” from the very beginning. You couldn’t slow down and enjoy the gameplay, or the style, of the games because you were always expected to be zooming through each level at 100 mph. Now that 2-D platforms are out of style, this doesn’t work at all, but in my personal opinion it never worked all that well to begin with, which is why Sonic is one of the most overrated video game characters of all time.

4. Bowser

Bowser is the kind of monster children dream about having over for a cup of tea, but Mom’s worry will throw a toddler-like hissy fit. That’s right this villain is just a big, ugly toddler. Nothing Super Nanny and her time out corner couldn’t take care of. Luckily for us, he has a host of other smarter and deadlier creatures surrounding him that make Mario’s quests challenging and exciting.

3. Chris Redfield



Dude’s ripped, but other than that he’s not all that impressive. First, he’s got a partner who he drags through all kinds of stupidity, rather than falling back as he was ordered too. Second, he has someone who can give him orders, and his mission seems to be his own. He must find his old partner. Never mind that he’s putting his new partner’s life at stake; never mind that the military might need him in other ways. Let’s compare him to Leon Kennedy for a moment, shall we? Leon follows orders to a tee, sometimes too well. He has no help, except for Hunnigan, and the only person he has to talk to is a snotty seventeen year old kid who is not only incapable of shooting a gun, but often steps in between Leon and his enemies, so that he has to worry about shooting her. Long story short: Leon equals badass. Chris equals jacked up moron.

2. Lara Croft

If tits were what made a video game heroine, then Lara Croft would be the greatest video game heroine of all time. But if you’re talking about what a character has to do to complete the game, or how she informs the story, then Lara Croft is easily one of the most overrated video game characters of all time. Although some of her first video game antics were acceptable, even enjoyable, since Lara has become more and more like a stripper, and less like a heroine. Fun to look at, but in the long run more frustrating than enjoyable.


1. Luigi



Once upon a time Luigi was the second warrior in the hard road that Mario had to follow. He could do it all. Sure he was a little taller, and sometimes his jumps were slightly more awkward, but they each had a shot to save the princess, the first go around. Now, look what Luigi has been reduced to. Now, he spends most of his time being saved by his brother in Super Mario Galaxy, and when he’s not being saved by Mario he spends his time vacuuming up ghosts. That’s right. The one time hero that could walk in Mario’s footsteps has been reduced to the damsel in distress/cleaning lady. Yeah, Nintendo, you should be proud.

5 comments:

  1. nice shit... especialy the master chief rating.

    ReplyDelete
  2. what's up? wanted to let you know I'm definitely adding your blog in my links.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I have to disagree with #9.

    The first Pac-Man World for the Playstation was a fun platformer, and Pac-Man: Championship Edition for XBLA has actually perfected the formula of Pac-Man. A brilliant update, if you've never played it.

    Oh, I took and posted your suggestion, so have a look at the titles listed so far.

    ReplyDelete